Where Did I Go?

5 years is a long time…

I’ve been busy raising a child… busy being a life. In the past 2 years I changed my career and now work as a child care manager for the city. Upon that I’m also an art coordinator/teacher in the evenings. My best friend up and left 2 years ago and has barely spoken to me since. My grandfather died… I spent 3 months watching him die and being at his side every day every spare moment that I had. When he died my family seemed to crumble with drama, it seemed at the same time I lost my grandmother as she turned into a different person. It also seems like my son lost a large part of the family as everyone retracted into their own lives. He too lost a lot. His “aunty Kat” his best friend and cousin Lenneth, his papa and his omi. He’s thrived though, he went into Kindergarten and has made friends and has moved on.

I on the other hand look at the mess that nobody picked up. The mess where nobody can agree about hosting family dinners (although we moved into a bigger house… twice the size which has been a total blessing but one of the very few. We’ve said we will host them since we have the room. That has only caused fights and more heartache.)

I miss having my best friend, I miss our talks, even when I try to message her now she barely says anything. Her life is busy and I’m old news.

I have my best guy friend but it’s not the same, it’ll never be on that same level as I did with Kat. And yes I have my husband but again it’s not the same.

I’ve become a mom who doesn’t have friends who want to go out, who want to do appies, who want to just get together and talk. I can’t help but feel lonely.

 

 

 

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Mona Lisa By My Side, With A Devious Smile.

(couldn’t think of a catchy title and since Moffatts Bang Bang Boom was playing in my head so I figured why not.)

I’m running my ass around like a headless chicken these days. Work has been nuts with getting this Halloween Ball done, I’m more or less on my way to being fully done with it. I think this year is going to be huge, there’s a lot of changes (because after nearly 8 years I’m sick and tired of doing the same thing over and over.) We have an alien autopsy room where there’s a dead alien under the sheets and you can feel its guts and brains and what not… fun stuff! There’s the haunted house, the monsters, the dancing, the concession.

I’ve been running after Dante like crazy as well lately, he doesn’t slow down for anything. He’s gotten into this mommy phase where he needs to constantly be near me, going to the bathroom is a hassle that I would rather save for work (at least there I don’t have a child crawling onto my lap.)

I’m tired, I need a vacation.

I’ve gotten my Harley Quinn costume pretty much completed. I made the corset last night, it looks amazing considering I had to hand sew it, I was surprised it turned out as well as it did.

I’m still waiting for a client to get me her updates for her site which were supposedly going to be sent last Wednesday… I have a great feeling they’re either going to show up this weekend or next week when I’m going to be busy as heck and not be able to attend to ANY extra work. Isn’t that how it always is though? I’ll just email her and tell her that along with working with OTHER clients AND doing the Halloween Ball at the school AND my husband’s birthday, that she’ll just have to wait.

Not even 8pm and I’m ready for bed.

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FAIL!

Some days I honestly think that I’m missing a part of my brain, that there was a malfunction somewhere (most likely when I fell from that slide onto the concrete when I was 2 and a half.) It might not even be my brain, it might be with some things that because I’m ambidextrous I simply don’t have a stronger hand when it comes to these things.

I fail at:

Cutting bagels straight across, I used a big bread knife and still I dip it, cut it at a horrible angle or cut myself.

I also cannot cut cheese straight, its at an angle and never consistent, some pieces are thicker than others while some aren’t even full rectangles.

Cutting anything really… I can chop things… just not cut them straight.

I CANNOT hammer a freaking nail into a board!

In fact I can’t do any carpentry at all.

I can’t do puzzles, you know those cardboard things with pictures all cut up into pieces… nope… that part of my brain is missing… I can do Sudoku no problem, I can do word search, brainteasers, crosswords, but not puzzles.

I can’t put in contacts.

I fail at cooking rice.

I’m horrible at playing pool (there’s no coordination there at all.)

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I’m Some Kind Of Special

I got into my car today ahead of my co-worker after work, she had stopped and was talking to someone, I said goodbye, got in the car, turned on the engine and then yelled “NO!” At my stereo and quickly switched it to a cd. My co-worker stopped and was staring at me like I was a complete lunatic. I smiled, rolled down my window and then said “Justin Bieber was on the radio” like magically that would make me seem more “normal.”

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Most Awkward Encounter EVER!

So last night I went clubbing with my best friend Kat, we haven’t been out in forever and we really wanted to simply go out, have a drink or two and dance. About an hour into the night a guy taps me on the shoulder and says “Nikki?” My face lights up in horror, it’s a dad from school. Not any dad, the dad of one of my favourites (yes I play favourites at school.) OMG… at that moment I was lost for what to say, I didn’t have to because he started talking “oh my god, I knew I recognized you! I figured you got out and about and had a bit of wild thing inside of you… you look great” and on and on. He then says he’s newly divorced (I know that.)  He said it was totally weird running into me and asked to buy me a drink, I told him I was only drinking water because I already hit my limit, he then bought Kat a drink. It came up for whatever reason that I was married, he looked at Kat and pointed “to her? Because if you’re gay that’s totally fine, I’m totally fine with that, I don‘t judge!”

*Dies*

“No, no, I’m married to a man” (holy shit am I really having this conversation with a parent?) I explain that Kat’s my best friend and my clubbing buddy because she keeps me out of trouble (apparently not LAST NIGHT) So after some more REALLY awkward conversation “I knew you were hot but not THIS hot.” Kat and I hit up the dance floor, he came and danced for all of 30 seconds and then said we were too much for him, thank God for that.

Kat and I were feeling our age and split at midnight. I’m really hoping that for the sake of Monday morning dad got really plastered and won’t remember anything, if so then its going to be even more awkward.

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Client Woes

So I’ve been doing some website design for a few local authors and small businesses, its an easy enough job which I can do from home in my spare time although it can be incredibly frustrating with people who aren’t exactly internet swavvy. I’ve had cases where people don’t know what they wanted on their site (text wise) in their bio’s or about their books, so I’ve been left to come up with everything and in the end they wanted things drastically changed at 10:30 at night as I’m quite literally heading up the stairs to bed.

Then I’ve had issues with a client every single day asking how many people had visited the site, in which I simply installed a stat counter at the bottom of the site (very 1990’s  but it keeps them happy.)

The latest was one who NEEDED me to email them back right away because they needed to get together with me and go through some work that was needed on the site, she needed to know what days I was free so we could go over some things. I replied quickly telling her my availability and she failed to get back to me, its been three days now and still no word and I can pretty much guarantee that I’ll get an email on the DAY that she wants to get together (most likely HOURS beforehand.) The most annoying part is she knows that I have a life, I have other clients and a whole other job all together… if other clients are going to book me then I’m not waiting around for her to get her act together.

Ugh just annoying >_<

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Note To Parents: Please Teach Your Child To Wipe Their Own Butt Before Kindergarten

I actually also put this entry on VanityMom… but this is too real to NOT post on here. What I am about to describe is a very personal look at my work life… and unfortunately this is not the first time this has happened, in fact it happens every single year, so parents, PLEASE teach your kids this important lesson.

So… I was at work today and one of my younger kindgergarteners Ty comes up to me and says Nikki I have to go to the bathroom real bad! I tell him to please go and wait… a few moments later Mrs. Richards walks by and asks if I have someone in the bathroom, I tell her that indeed I do, she then tells me that Ty is calling for help… I walk over to the bathroom across the hallway and this is the event as it unfolds:

Me: Ty, what’s wrong? Why are you calling for help?

Ty: Because I can’t wipe my bum, mommy does it for me!

Me: … (dammit I have to do this again?) Ty you need to be a big boy and do this yourself, take some toilet paper, not a lot and try to reach back and wipe your bum.

(at this point the rest of the kindergarten teachers have gathered round to chuckle as I do this, I wonder if they have anything better to do… but they don’t.)

Ty: Then what?

Me: Keep wiping, is there poop still on the toilet paper?

Ty: Yes, a little.

Me: Then keep wiping until there’s no more.

(a few minutes pass.)

Ty: Okay there’s no more poo!

Me: Great job Ty! Now you need to flush the toilet and wash your hands really well with soap and water.

(by this time the teachers have died of laughter and have told me that I need to write a book.)

Ty comes out of the bathroom, I ask if he’s all good to go, he says yes and I tell him that he has some homework to do and to work on wiping his own bum (yes, I am have this conversation.) He agrees and we walk back to the classroom.

DEAR GOD PARENTS PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TEACH YOUR KID HOW TO WIPE THEIR BUTT BEFORE THEY’RE IN KINDERGARTEN!

On another note I told his mom about this when he was picked up in which she burst out laughing and said to him “see I told you that you’d have to poop at school one day and that you’d find yourself stuck in the bathroom because your teacher can’t wipe your bum!”

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