5 years is a long time…
I’ve been busy raising a child… busy being a life. In the past 2 years I changed my career and now work as a child care manager for the city. Upon that I’m also an art coordinator/teacher in the evenings. My best friend up and left 2 years ago and has barely spoken to me since. My grandfather died… I spent 3 months watching him die and being at his side every day every spare moment that I had. When he died my family seemed to crumble with drama, it seemed at the same time I lost my grandmother as she turned into a different person. It also seems like my son lost a large part of the family as everyone retracted into their own lives. He too lost a lot. His “aunty Kat” his best friend and cousin Lenneth, his papa and his omi. He’s thrived though, he went into Kindergarten and has made friends and has moved on.
I on the other hand look at the mess that nobody picked up. The mess where nobody can agree about hosting family dinners (although we moved into a bigger house… twice the size which has been a total blessing but one of the very few. We’ve said we will host them since we have the room. That has only caused fights and more heartache.)
I miss having my best friend, I miss our talks, even when I try to message her now she barely says anything. Her life is busy and I’m old news.
I have my best guy friend but it’s not the same, it’ll never be on that same level as I did with Kat. And yes I have my husband but again it’s not the same.
I’ve become a mom who doesn’t have friends who want to go out, who want to do appies, who want to just get together and talk. I can’t help but feel lonely.